The Missing Piece I Didn't Know Was Missing
If you've been reading our newsletters, you might have heard parts of this story already. This week I want to go deeper.
For years I used breathing to manage everything.
My energy. My emotions. My anger, especially.
When things built up, I would breathe through it.
Constantly changing techniques, deliberately breathing until something released.
And it usually worked.
So I kept doing it.
What I didn't realize was that I had become very good at intervening in my own breathing, and very far from trusting it.
It felt like I was always working through something.
Always managing the next thing.
The techniques were doing their job,
and somehow there was always another problem to solve.
Always another trigger.
Always the next session.
There was no peace in it.
It wasn't until Peter walked me through the breathing reflex, in a way I had never seen taught anywhere, that something actually clicked.
He described it like this...
The reflex is the body's built-in mechanism for regulating CO2, breath to breath, automatically, without any help from you. It has been doing this since the day you were born.
Peter's words really resonated with me:
"Finding the reflex really means finding self-regulation. You just need to allow the system to do its job. You don't have to learn how to do the regulation. You just have to learn to get out of the way of those reflexes so they can do the job."
And when I started to connect with it, something very interesting happened…
I stopped needing to manage myself all the time.
The more I connected with the reflex, the more I trusted it.
The more I trusted it, the less I had to do.
Scott from Florida responded to one of our teachings and shared something that touched my heart...
"Reflexive breathing has been an ongoing epiphany bringing together all my years of studying breathwork. I've had trauma, leaving my nervous system frayed, unable to socially connect for years, but even knowing so many techniques from Wim Hof to coherent breathing, the way you guys presented this reflexive teaching has been remarkable. Standing in anxiety prone situations like a crowd at a cafe or restaurant, allowing the breath I've been able to see how my exhale has been conditioned from childhood. So, it has been an honor and privilege. Thank you so much and all the best to you guys."
I get emotional when I hear experiences like this..
This is why we do what we do.
And this is exactly what we want to share with you on our free webinar this week.
That sits right at the center of this week's newsletter.
Grateful to have you part of our community.
Featured Insight of the Week...
What is the breathing reflex, and why don't I know about it?
Most breathwork training teaches two things.
How to be aware of the breath...
And how to intervene with a technique.
Awareness and intervention.
The A and the I.
What most breathwork training leaves out is the R.
Dr. Peter Litchfield calls this framework A.I.R.
Analysis. Intervention. Resolution.
Or in the language we use in Behavioral Breathwork:
Awareness. Intervention. Regulation.
Most breathwork practitioners can get people to awareness.
Most can teach interventions.
But you cannot get to regulation without understanding the breathing reflex.
And almost nobody teaches the reflex.
That is the missing piece.
Peter describes it this way:
"All of us out here include breathing learning interventions in one way or another in our professional or personal lives. Most of these people, however, focus exclusively on mechanics, without understanding that breathing mechanics are behaviors, and without addressing the profound effects of these mechanics on the chemistry of respiration."
Techniques address the surface.
The reflex is what restores the system.
If you want to understand what the breathing reflex actually is
and why it matters so much,
we go deep on that in this week's blog.
And if you want to understand why techniques alone
will never get you to regulation,
and what actually changes things,
that is in the blog too.
This week in Behavioral Breathwork
If you guide people through breathing practices, this matters directly.
Most breathwork training will get your students to awareness.
Most will teach them techniques and interventions.
But if the reflex is never introduced, your clients will stay in the intervention loop. Managing. Coming back for more. Never quite arriving at their goals.
Brigitte, a Pilates teacher and breathwork practitioner of 25 years, shared this after going through our last Behavioral Breathwork Training:
"I've noticed that with the breathwork that I've been doing with you guys, I just don't seem to get caught up with it [stress]. It's a less visceral experience whenever I have stress. I'm able to be more calm."
That is what regulation feels like.
And it only becomes available when the reflex is understood.
This is what Behavioral Breathwork Training is built around.
Understanding what is actually happening in the body when people breathe, so you can guide your clients all the way to regulation, not just relief.
We are running a free webinar this week...
If you want to see what this work looks like before you commit,
join us for a FREE Webinar.
When Breathwork Backfires: An Introduction to Behavioral Breathwork
May 7 (Aus) / May 6 (USA/UK)
If you want to see what this work actually looks like before you commit to the training, come join us!
Enrollment is also open for Behavioral Breathwork Training LIVE. This is the only live cohort we are running this year. If learning and connecting LIVE matters to you... Or if being part of a community and asking questions as you move through the course matters to you. This is your only opportunity to do that this year.
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đź”— Start the Free 7-Day Experience
If you’d prefer to begin with a simple personal experience, you can start with our free 7-Day Reflexive Breathing Experience.
It’s a short guided exploration to help you notice how your own breathing patterns respond to stress and settling.
KEYNOTES, WORKSHOPS, & PODCASTS
đź”— Book Shane and/or Angie For Your Next Event
We offer workplace keynotes and trainings grounded in behavioral science and breathwork, helping teams understand how stress develops as a learned response and build practical regulation skills they can use immediately.
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